The Pain And The Light Of Day

It’s been a little while since either of us have written here; having opted to spend more time blogging at our separate-yet-linked blogs.

Likely, if you are reading this, you either follow our other blogs already or else you are here totally by accident.  Hence, you either already know how we are doing or you don’t really care.  Potentially both might be true as well.

Things have been strained between the two of us lately.  And by strained, I mean that we have been in agony over our extended separation.  We need to see each other.  Desperately.

It isn’t easy for either of us knowing that the other still has a spouse that is completely clueless to what truly lies within our hearts.  The idea that our lover is being mistreated at the hands of another or imagining your lover in the throes of passion with their spouse… both are equally hard to deal with.  We agree, though, to try and stay focussed on us.

Overcoming this tortured state of mind and our ability to look forward to the stolen moments of contact that we are able to find is a testament to our love.  I am crazy about her and I need her in my life.  I will accept whatever it is that comes along in order to have her because the way she makes me feel and the things that she does for me greatly outweigh the pain that we have to endure.

And I know that I will endure.  There isn’t even a tiny fragment of me that wants to give up and let her slip away.  I know that doing so would be the biggest mistake of my life.  And I’m through with such huge lapses in judgment.

Change (In the House Of Flies)

It’s been quite a while since either of us has written here.

Of course, it has probably been quite a while since anyone has even surfed here… unless you are a spambot of course.  Those douchebags are everywhere.

We are doing well.  As this blog started early in our relationship… our online presence has developed as we have developed.  You can check out Evey (Dirty Girl™) at Ethereal And Ubiquitous and you can check me (V/Tiger™) at Seditious And Ubiquitous.

Regardless, since I know that Evey will never think to look here… this is where I’m going to write a few secret notes for her.  I’m meaning this to be like writing a note, rolling up and corking it within a bottle before throwing it into the ocean for someone else to find.

Evey is the woman that I’ve always hoped was out there for me.  Her personality meshes with mine so completely and amazingly that I doubt I could be able to find a complaint against her or a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate.

It’s in this place; this time of my life, that I feel like I have a chance at happiness.

So, I send this secret love note out to my girl… the one who holds the key to my heart and has the power to make me strive to be a better man.  I love you, baby.

There are no Words

There are no words to describe my feelings at this moment.  There is no way to convey the power of my emotions.

I met my Tiger.

I had the single most spectacular day of my life, and it is all because of him.

I found my happiness.  My happiness lies in the love I receive from Tiger.  I am loved like I never dreamed possible.  Now that we have met, my feelings for him have become more concrete; they are cast in stone.  I loved him before, but now I realize just how much we are bound together.

I was a nervous bundle of uncertainty and expectation in the days preceding his visit.  When I arrived at the hotel room door, I knocked and placed my sweaty palms over the peep-hole cyclops that was staring me in the face.  Tiger opened the door with a boyish grin on his face.  Without so much as a proper word spoken we locked in the most powerful and emotional embrace I have ever encountered.  I clung to him as he clung to me, we were touching for the very first time.  I cried a tiny cry which was more of a pressure release than anything else.  He held me tightly.

Everything was perfect.  His lips were the softest I have ever kissed.  We made love for hours.  I melted into him as we lay together, naked on the bed.  My flesh on his.  His fingers intertwined with mine.  His eyes locked on my gaze.  Perfection.  We moved together flawlessly.

I thought that tearing myself from him at the end of the day would kill me.  I assumed that I would be an emotional basketcase, a useless heap of sobbing flesh on the bathroom floor.  I was wrong.  I feel fantastic.  I feel more solid in my relationship with Tiger, I feel more bound to him no matter how far apart we are.  He said so many meaningful things to me while we were together.  Our experience as a long distance couple made it natural for us to say exactly what we were thinking or feeling as it happened.  We were completely open.  In parting, his words of comfort will always stay with me.  Although I knew it was not a permanent good bye, I still felt sorrow in his departure.

“I don’t want to let you go.” I said.

“Letting me go implies that this is the end, and this is not the end.  We will still be together, we will still chat online, still call, and still cam.  We will just be separated again, but you are not letting me go.”

My words will never be enough to make this as clear as I want to be.  I can’t express, in black and white, what I feel at this very moment.

I love my Tiger more deeply today than at any point before.

He has my heart, he is my soul, he is my happiness.  I will love him always.
—————-
Now playing: Fair To Midland - Vice/Versa
via FoxyTunes

Listen To The Sound Of My Voice

My Dirty Girl™ and I try to chat as often as we can. Sometimes, it so happens that we chat while she is at work over the embedded Google chat inside of GMail. When she is at work, we can usually chat relatively freely. And sometimes, I like to take a few liberties with her by telling her stories. I know that, while she sits at her desk, she is reading my words and her pussy grows dripping wet and she aches to lay her fingers on her clit and rub out a mind-blowing orgasm. But since she is at work, she is unable to. She can’t touch herself.

Knowing that she is so turned on but is not allowed to orgasm, for whatever reason, excites me. I enjoy the power of turning her lust on and having her desire grow and blossom on the other end; yet never harvested. I like knowing I have this power over her and I use it. While it may seem like she may not even be on the other end of the chat, I know she is there reading. Yesterday was no different.

5:24:10 PM Tiger™: I’m picturing you laying on a bench, naked with a blindfold on. And your legs and wrists are bound and tied closely to the floor.
5:24:22 PM Tiger™: You can’t see anything but blackness.
5:24:51 PM Tiger™: But you can hear me walking around you. Breathing. My footsteps.
5:25:55 PM Tiger™: Suddenly, you feel my hand touch your stomach and glide over it and lingering on your clit, exposing it.
5:26:49 PM Tiger™: You feel my fingers gently touch your clit and rub it; I slide my finger up and down your pussy while occasionally sliding it inside you.
5:27:36 PM Tiger™: The lack of sight heightens your sense of touch and hearing. You can hear my breathing quicken, sensing that I’m becoming aroused.
5:29:03 PM Tiger™: You moan quietly every time I slide a finger into you. You lick your lips, wetting them slightly. You’re hoping that I saw you do it, to entice me to let you taste the tender flesh of my cock.
5:30:44 PM Tiger™: But the massaging of your pussy continues without skipping a beat. You are so aroused and can feel an orgasm rising within yourself. You rock yourself in time to the motion of my fingers.
5:30:57 PM Tiger™: And then I stop.
5:32:30 PM Tiger™: You feel like you’re seconds away from orgasm and you start to slowly come down after being so close. You aren’t sure where I am but you know that I’ve walked away a bit. You start to rest back against the bench trying to catch your breath.
5:33:07 PM Tiger™: You hear me walk back towards you when you feel the shocking cold wetness of something touch your nipple.
5:33:21 PM Tiger™: You shriek at the shock of it.
5:33:43 PM Tiger™: I start to rub your nipple with what you realize to be an ice cube.
5:36:23 PM Tiger™: You feel your nipples become completely erect and extremely sensitive to the cold and to my touch. You groan in delight as you become more accustomed to it and become more turned on. I slide the ice cube from your nipple to the outer part of your breast and then I drag it across your chest to your other breast, ultimately leading a wet trail to your other nipple.
5:37:40 PM Dirty Girl™: (i’m dying here)
5:39:15 PM Tiger™: In the darkness… the ice cube encircles your other nipple and you gasp at the shock of it. You breath deeply and sharply as the cold chills your body. And as you feel wet and cold, you feel my warm, soft mouth encircle your other nipple… the nipple that I started with. My slide my tongue over the hardness of it and repeatedly flick it with my tongue as I let the ice cube rest on your other nipple.
5:40:05 PM Tiger™: I stop momentarily. “Let me warm this up for you,” I calmly say before starting to suck on the nipple again.
5:40:53 PM Tiger™: You can feel yourself growing so wet, hoping that soon I’ll return my attention to your pussy; maybe even start fucking you.
5:41:42 PM Dirty Girl™: yes
5:43:54 PM Tiger™: The blindfold is held tightly in place and even though you start to writhe around, it doesn’t move. You are held firmly in darkness. I take my mouth away from your nipple and you feel an ache building in your other nipple. The cold is starting to cause you pain and you are worried about frostbite on it. You want me to stop.
5:44:49 PM Tiger™: I pull the ice cube away and can sense that your nipple is in pain right now. I ask, “How does that feel?”
5:45:03 PM Tiger™: “It’s starting to ache,” you say.
5:45:50 PM Tiger™: I pinch your warm nipple that I was sucking on only seconds before. I pinch it hard.
5:45:59 PM Tiger™: “Which one hurts more?”
5:46:49 PM Tiger™: “The cold one,” you say with a slight whine indicating your discomfort.
5:49:13 PM Tiger™: “I see.” I re-apply the ice cube and make larger circles around the breast moreso than the nipple. “And how does that feel?”
5:49:31 PM Tiger™: “Very cold,” you say.
5:50:07 PM Tiger™: “The pain is starting to spread,” you continue.
5:51:50 PM Tiger™: “Interesting,” I say. You feel me remove the ice from your breast and seconds later hear it skip across the floor as I cast it aside. You feel the warm fingers on my other hand rub your rock hard nipples, warming them slightly.
5:53:39 PM Tiger™: “You’ve been a very good girl for me so far,” I say. I lovingly kiss your lips and rub your breast tenderly. “You really are my good girl. Good girls are rewarded with good things,” I say calmly.
5:54:56 PM Tiger™: I step away and you hear me return seconds later. You hear a click followed immediately by a buzzing noise that you immediately recognize as your silver bullet.
5:56:19 PM Tiger™: By now, your pussy is sopping wet; waiting for attention. As I press the bullet to your clit, you feel a thick dildo slide into your pussy. It glides in easily and shocks you and you let out a sharp cry of pleasure.
5:56:38 PM Tiger™: “I want you to cum for me now.”
5:57:03 PM Tiger™: You feel the dildo slide in and out of you as the bullet works it’s magic on your clit.
5:57:31 PM Tiger™: And within a minute, you are on the edge of orgasm.
5:58:06 PM Tiger™: “Are you going to cum?” I ask.
5:58:24 PM Tiger™: “Yes, please… I want to cum…” you moan…
5:58:55 PM Tiger™: “Then cum for me. Cum hard. Cum hard now,” I say.
5:59:47 PM Tiger™: And you do. You strain against your shackles that bind you to the floor as you cry out and an orgasm ripples through your body.
6:00:41 PM Tiger™: It goes on and on until you lay, spent on the bench. I slowly untie your ankles and wrists and take you into my arms.
6:01:03 PM Dirty Girl™: i love you
6:01:05 PM Tiger™: I kiss you deeply and tell you, “you were fantastic.”
6:01:10 PM Tiger™: I love you.
6:01:43 PM Dirty Girl™: Tiger?
6:01:48 PM Tiger™: I know you have to go.
6:01:54 PM Dirty Girl™: i know.
6:01:58 PM Dirty Girl™: but
6:02:05 PM Tiger™: but what?
6:02:21 PM Dirty Girl™: i love you
6:02:27 PM Tiger™: i love you too, baby.

The Heat

It is nights like tonight that I especially yearn for the warm flesh of my Dirty Girl™.

It’s been extraordinarily warm and my shirt, slightly damp with perspiration, clings to my shoulders and my back. I can feel beads of sweat drip down my forehead as well as down my neck. I’m not used to this heat. It’s the kind of heat that necessitates laying naked in front of a fan. So that’s what I do.

I lay nude on my bed, staring at the ceiling fan spin around and around while listening to the neighbour across the street spray down his flower beds with the hose and the group down the block laughing over a few drinks.

The evening is still. Very little breeze enters my window, the only cooling I feel coming from the fan overhead. As I shift, I can feel the luxurious sheets on my bed caress my back and ass. As usual, my hand wanders to my dick while my mind wanders to thoughts of My Dirty Girl™. I begin to play and eventually stroke as I close my eyes and imagine her.

She lays beside me naked. Despite being so hot, the upper part of her torso rests against me; her right breast pressing against the left side of my ribcage. She lays with her chin also on my chest and her right hand runs from my neck to my shoulder, partway down my arm and then back again. My right arm bends at the elbow and I run my fingers through her short, dark hair.

It’s moments like this that I want so very much to treasure with her. Moments where our entire worlds stop and we can lay exposed to enjoy each other.

I continue to stroke. This image, is imprinted on my brain like a tattoo. I can feel her nipple and her fingertips graze over every hair on my body; I can feel the thin sheen of sweat between our bodies. It exists only in my mind, but there… it is allowed to roam free.

Inevitably, her arm would find it’s way working down my chest to my stomach and then following the hair below my bellybutton further down. Her hand wraps around the base of my shaft and she gets an evil grin across her face as she feels it begin to swell in her hand within mere seconds.

“Its got a mind of its own,” I say, a little sheepishly.

“Apparently,” she replies; her attention becoming more and more fixed on my dick as she begins to stroke it and make it grow even larger. As it continues to swell, her strokes become longer and more fluid and I push my head back into the pillow and start to breathe deeply out of pure pleasure.

It’s here where I can imagine that my own strokes of my cock are actually hers. It’s her hand giving me pleasure rather than my own.

“Mmm,” she says, as I perk my head up for a second. She makes eye contact with me while she holds my erect dick in her hand; she knows I love it when she does that. “It would be such a waste to not put such a magnificent hard-on to good use.”

She pushes herself up and mounts me, still clutching me in her hand. As she straddles me, she directs the head of my cock to her pussy. I can feel her moving herself and my cock to align each of them before she plunges herself down on my rigid prick. She sinks it down hard, fast and deep. At feeling it, we both let out a loud moan simultaneously.

I can tell the heat is affecting her… the light from the window shines on the thin layer of glistening sweat on her chest and between her bare breasts. She begins to slowly rock back and forth on my cock… feeling it move deeply inside of her. I’m wondering if she can feel the outline of it’s tip and the contours and ridges of it’s shaft.

With her eyes closed, she continued to rock back and forth on me; her mouth hanging open slightly. I rest my hands on her thighs and rub them up to her hips and back down again. While I do this, her hands cup her breasts and she pinches her nipples slightly. She pinches her left one a little harder, at which she emits a small squeak before allowing her hands to wander down her sides before each running directly for her clit in a ‘V’ motion.

Both hands remain there for about 15-20 seconds as she continues to rock, only faster. My hands continue to rub her thighs.

I felt startled when she opens her eyes. She looks at me and a look comes over her face. She grabs my hands as they run up to her hips and holding onto my hands, she forces my arms above my head. She pins me there by moving her hands to the inside of my biceps and uses her weight to hold them down. A little bit of pressure from her thumbs underneath the muscle helps her cause as well.

Then she starts to really ride my cock. She starts to ride it like she was riding a horse across an arid desert plain while being chased by some angry gunfighters. He was fucking me hard and with no sign of stopping anytime soon. I try to marvel at her athletic figure as she aggressively fucks me but the sensations she produces within me are overwhelming.

When I fuck her, I can control my own pleasure and my own orgasms.  I can delay them if I need to and I can control exactly how much pleasure I can get.  Much like Dirty Girl™’s shower experience, I have that sensitive feeling that I think I can’t handle when I lose control of how much pleasure I’m receving.  So when I’m being ridden like this, I have no control of that.

She knows.

My body starts to tense up to fight the feeling; that powerful sensation.  I look at her as her breasts bounce quickly to her movements and perspiration drips down her forehead and into her hair that drapes into her face.  What started as a rhythmic series of moans turns into a long drone of ecstasy slipping from my lips.  I can’t control it.  I can’t control myself.  I breathe in try to regain my composure but she does not slow a beat… and before I know it, I’m orgasming out of control.

It’s usually at this point where I would slow the rhythm to sync with the waves of my own orgasm, controlling it.  But Dirty Girl™ affords me no such luxury and I scream out of control during my orgasm.

It’s at this point where my hand on my cock and the images in my head bring me to simultaneous orgasm with my fantasy of the two of us.  I shoot a large load of cum onto my own stomach thinking about her fucking me.

As I lay there in post orgasmic bliss, I wish that she was with me so that she could flop off of my sweaty body and lay beside me, huffing and puffing.  But instead, I lay there yearning for her while staring at the ceiling fan continue to spin.

Shower Massage

I could see steam floating in soft whisps over the top of the glass shower doors.  It was warm out, but I still wanted the heat from the water to coat my body.  I stepped in and let the water pour over me; drenching my hair and face, letting it fall over me to the floor.

I turned and reached for the shower head.  With a turn if the dial I made a sharp stream.  Normally, I take the shower head down and hold it, but this time I left it up.  Arching my back the stream of water hit me square in the chest.  I moved a bit and positioned myself so that the water beat directly onto my already erect nipple.

I adjusted the head a bit more and lay down on the floor.  Legs crossed, I leaned back and onto my elbows.  The sharp stream beat directly down on my openly exposed clitoris.  The pressure was heavy and I struggled to keep the stream in a position that was providing a very intense feeling.  “I can’t..” I thought to myself.  But I held it there, “No,” I retorted, “Tiger™ wouldn’t want it that way” and I held fast.  Suddenly, my body had a convulsion that both relieved me and disappointed me.  The stream was now hitting a far more pleasing spot on my clit.  I began to move involuntarily in small grinding motions, but thinking again of my Tiger™ I did all I could to keep my movement to a minimum.

I came hard and fast with that water streaming down upon me.  A release that was truly bottled up and screaming for escape.

My Brain

I’m hurting.

I do that.  I think of the thousands of ways I want to express my desires and my fantasies give way to the formidable reality of our distance.  I try to hold on to the fabulous way Tiger™ makes me feel when we are talking.  I feel empowered, uplifted, and most importantly, happy.

Tiger™ has this amazing quality.  He’s vibrant.  Even when he’s upset or in pain, he is radiant.  When he’s happy and smiling, he is unstoppably brilliant.

But I’m hurting.

And I’m horny.  I can’t wait to feel him in the flesh.  I close my eyes and I can imagine it.  Tracing my fingers along his face, feeling the softness of his hair, smelling the warmth of his body close to mine.  I’m ready for him to take me completely.   He will be my guide and I will follow him to whatever dark corners his libido takes me to.

Tonight, I’ll be having sex with my husband, but I’ll be thinking of my Tiger™.

And it makes the pain stronger.

VNV Nation - Tempest

Crack Whore

I needed so badly to hear Tiger’s voice the other day.  I felt it in every nerve.  I had to hear his voice.

I have moments where our distance feels monumental.  It is as if there is no way to bridge the gap.  I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with these moments and I’m sure they are going become more frequent, more urgent, and more painful.

We were emailing each other, but it still wasn’t enough.  I was shaking.  My pulse raced.  My breath quickened.  I needed his touch.  I longed for his touch.  But I went for the next best thing at this point, his voice.  We called one another and by the time we became involved in conversation my tension was released.  I was jonesing for the crack that is Tiger and I received my fix.

*h*u*g*s*